An email from a friend - Update

UPDATED - Johnny Virgil contacted me, letting me know he was the original author. Please go to his site and pay him some much deserved kudos for this GREAT blog material!

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:



A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy .... this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.

I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining
room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old
barrels:



Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:



There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:



Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He
probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have
to be three inches long. A way to pull them up to your armpits,
grandpa.


Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:




This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is
pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.


Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:



This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally
appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house.
Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block.


Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:



Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:



He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just
a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.


How to get your butt kicked in a meeting:



If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe
you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.


How to get your butt kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day



Dear God in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.



As does your search for chest hair.


And this -- Seriously. No words.



I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm
guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to
dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?




I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."



And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."



Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry
cloth jumpsuits:



I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in
time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these
tasteful little numbers:



Man, that's sexy.

20 comments:

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh my goodness this made my day! I am laughing so hard... that blue top with the short tie- what in the world! True... no words!

Steph

Tori :) said...

LOL! Those are some groovy clothes!!

Crooked Eyebrow said...

That's some "butt-kicking" fashion. Seriously, what was with those convict looking orange all purpose jump suits? I'm not even going there on the whole matching thing.

Great find!

Kayelyn said...

So are you mocking my junior high outfits? {{J/K}}

LOL. They were really funky back then. This is really quite a find. That little flash back through time was great. I especially like the junk in the swimsuit face. Wowie!

Amanda said...

Um, What were these people thinking in the 70's???? Some scary stuff there!

Too funny that they found it under the insulation.

Terry said...

Thanks for this post! It had me cracking up! Just what I needed.

Yvonne said...

That is way too funny. (I honestly don't think I ever wore any of that stuff!!!)

D said...

And I thought the 80s were bad! I think the 70s were worse- I could just hear the disco music looking at those terrible clothes!

A Little Revolution said...

Do you think JCPenny's still has any? Maybe I could wear them to work and really convince my co-workers to donate their vacation days to me so they don't have to see me for a while!

utmommy said...

I love this post!!!

Definitly ways to get your butt kicked.

Suzanne said...

LOL! I don't know what was funnier, the outfits themselves or the commentary about them by your friend!

The sad thing is that these were the fashionable things from the 70's! I wonder if the unfashionable people could have looked any worse...

Thanks for sharing this, Gina! You made me smile! :)

MileHighMommy said...

Awesomely Groovy Flashback! Thank goodness I was merely 1 year old - I don't think they dressed babies in polyester (or maybe they did - yikes!).

My parents were in their 20's then, and they would go out dancing in cooridinating outfits - I don't remember if they were exact matches, but still...can you imagine? "Honey, wear your green-poly, super-fly shirt tonight because I'm wearing my green-poly dress. We'll be like 'Twinkies'!"

Sorry - I got caught up there. Whew. Hopefully our kids won't mock us with our "yoga-gear" and cargo pants! ;)

itybtyfrog said...

That is hilarious!!! So glad I was born that year and didn't have to wear any of those horrible outfits so I could be beat up at school. The prices aren't too bad though. My grandpa and his brothers still wear those lovely jail break jump-suits. It is how you can tell who is who at family parties.

Aly said...

I'm crying right now I'm laughing so hard! Thanks for sharing.

Emily said...

I almost just wet my pants while reading this. Thanks. No seriously, thank you, I needed a good laugh.

Johnny Virgil said...

Hi. This was taken from my blog. You can see the original here: http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2007/10/strap-in-shut-up-and-hold-on-were-going.html

Poopydigs said...

So awesome, especially since I was born in 77.

Heheheh. I'm sure Ella will be laughing at Gymboree catalogs from 2005.

CaraDee said...

LOVE those pics. We found a 1988 Playgirl Magazine in the ceiling drywall when we gutted our crappy bathroom. It was next to an empty Skoal container. I didn't share those pics.
http://caraandbrandon.blogspot.com/2007/10/cover-your-eyes.html
and
http://caraandbrandon.blogspot.com/2007/10/poor-poor-christine.html

Ter said...

lol, that's so funny....

Caitlin said...

ROTFLMBO!!!

Thank you for sharing that. That's GREAT.