I have had a hard time lately with how people (in general) do things differently than I do. I just can't seem to put a lid on it, especially when the folks are related to me or when they have major contact with my son. I'll give an example of the latter of the two.
I have been reading a parenting book that is just excellent! It's called New Parent Power by John Rosemond. It really focuses on "old school" parenting techniques, which I love! I skipped to the chapter on television influences the other night. I knew the media wasn't good for our kids, but the added information gathered from this book has me torn. We, of course, let Liam watch a partial movie in the morning while eating breakfast and while we prepare for the day. What actually bothers me is what he is exposed to at day care. I have yet to arrive at that place with the TV turned off. It's bugged me from the get go, but the advantages of this place seemed to outweigh it. I've re-learned that TV has some serious effects on pre-school age children. That and video games seem harmful in that vital impressionable stage of their life (and actually harms their development later on in life). Focus/Concentration, boredom, lack of imagination, low impulse control, etc.
I was tempted to make copies of that chapter and hand it over to my day care provider (who always has the TV on). Of course I am very non-confrontational, so the thought wore at me.
Then I realized that Liam doesn't stay focused on the TV much anymore. It may be going in the background (which isn't he best), but at least he has an imagination and pretends and loves to be physical. The low impulse control is an issue, but he is still small and has yet to master those skills. I think he'll be okay... whether or not we throw out the TV or "have a talk" with the day care people. I'll just keep doing my best to keep him busy with other things when he is my care.
7 comments:
I'm torn on if I have any advice. Luckily, they don't use TV, in general, at Little Dude's daycare center. That being said, I know my mom likes the TV on in the background when she is watching him two days per week (cooking shows, so thankfully he should be picking-up anything bad from that, and then she does some of the educational programming with him).
When I'm home with him on my day working from home, I try to limit it, but will admit I use it in a pinch when nothing else has worked and I have a deadline. Today, we had the movie Cars going, but that was the only TV we used - and he didn't watch all of it, since I put it on about an hour prior to lunch.
On weekends, the Hubby is a background TV person, too, but I try to engage Little Dude in other things elsewhere, as much as possible - and he does tend to ignore adult programming, unless singing or music are involved (he is just drawn to anything musical).
I guess I would be curious as to how long the TV is on at her place. Is there any way you can hang-out for a day? Just a thought...
I struggle with this too - how other people (who have a lot of contact with my kids) do things differently than I do.
In most things, I decide to control what I can. For example, I don't buy soda at home, but if they have some at a birthday party or someone else's home, fine.
However, for every 'thing', I find I have to weigh both sides and see if I need to talk to someone. So, for example, if we ever lived closer to some members of our family, there is a good chance my kids could be offered soda a few times a week or more. And for me, that would be too much. So in that case, I would talk to the person(s) involved.
I too feel strongly about the adverse effects of TV and video games, and your last paragraph rung so true to me- it is the same thought process I think I would go through if I was in your situation. I agree with you.
That being said, I don't think you need to rule out talking to the day-care provider. I know this is easier said than done, and it is coming from someone who is decidedly not non-confrontational, so you can take it with a grain of salt. I just think that if anyone could talk to their daycare provider and make their feelings known, possibly effect change, and still keep the relationship intact and mutually respectful, it would be you. Granted, it may not result in the TV being shut off. However, a day-care provider knowing more about a parent's needs and desires for their child is a good thing. Maybe the TV would still be on, but the provider would be aware of your feelings on the matter, and could make more of an effort to actively steer him towards other things, if that ever became necessary.
Yikes, I must be a bad mommy...
I leave my TV on all day.. I would go mad if I didn't...
but..
it is always Sprout, Noggin.. all those kiddie channels..
now Matt never just sits and watches .. but it's just on as background noise...
Hum... I just don't know if I could go a day w/o sound in the background... ??
Maybe I should try it and see...
Every parent does things different, but when it comes to your own child and someone providing child care you should have a right to have things done a particular way.
Good luck.
My tv, like Terri's, is on a lot- but on Noggin basically all day. Most of the time no one is even watching it and I find myself thinking "Why do I have this annoying crap playing??" ;) I do think you have to be mindful of what is on and how much is being watched.
It's YOUR kid- talk to the provider if it's bothering you. Or maybe ask her how much Liam is actually watching it because you'd like to limit it with him...
YIKES. now i feel guilty... guess i will try to limit the tv more!
I've read that book on and off and love all the wonderful advice. I felt the same way when I read the one about the TV but I always find myself slipping with that one. Though I can say that my kids are the same as Liam, the TV might be on but if they don't want to watch it (even a favorite movie) they will play anyways. But if I turn it off they get upset cuz it wasn't over. I used to be alot better about no TV or very little TV but I just need that hour or whatever to myself sometimes and since Luke is pretty much done with naps I need it even more.
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